people who are always late
Funny how she is always on time when I give her that ultimatum. I am a victim of similar behavior pattern. For example, have you ever stopped to consider how well you can predict someone's personality and style of thinking just by knowing what he or she finds funny? In the future, I am going to start without her or just leave without her. Or maybe such people are simply indifferent to the effects of making others wait for them, a symptom of a more general egocentricity; they're caught up in their own needs and preferences and fail to take the perspective of others -- a prerequisite, perhaps, to making an effort to be on time. I am late in the mornings. Obviously if you are joining the military you are agreeing to be in a very strict atmosphere and you are expected to be on time. You dream of a day when you can ditch it and just live by the sunlight instead. I know, crazy.... Un-fully-processed trauma and grief. Maybe you're like me where you put them on totally random times, in hopes that waking up in four-minute intervals will change the game. You will not find too many late Japanese, Danes or Germans. Then again, you are perfectly correct theat there is a personality angle as well, and I like how the commenters have shared their perspectives. But in this, as in all things in life, different people prioritise things different ways. However, this is when my passive-aggressive side really shows. If she were missing a limb, people would be sympathetic. The worst is when you had plans with a friend, or a big exam in your class. The prospect of working in a field that has never spurred my interest doesn't make me want to jump out of bed and take on the day. as for me, I'm usually late even to things I enjoy, like parties and sort of things. Without that extra kick, you'd probably be sleeping through class and your schedule on the reg. Of course there are times when I don’t feel well or something unexpected comes up, but that doesn’t explain the fact that I am always late. I am constantly weighing in my mind the relative importance or consequence of interrupting my current conversation or extremely interesting project I am engrossed in to be on time for the next thing I need to do. I've tried every SSRI out there. I have come to realize that I have a terrible sense of time. Try to amend it. So, you might as well show up looking your best. And, "On my way" is a sure sign that you're hopping in the shower, and haven't even stepped foot in your driveway. In most activities of living, a bit of leeway in punctuality promotes a more relaxed state of being. I didn't realize that before because I was doing it unconsciously. I found this “article” completely useless and demeaning. I so much enjoy solitude and have so many things to d o- read, surf, listen to music, enlighten myself that I don't find MOTIVATION to get to this useless (as it seems to me) social event. I will, and must, be late if I am engaged in any meaningful conversation or endeavors. You knew from the minute you hit snooze this morning that you'd inevitably be skipping out on breakfast, or at least just grabbing a bagel to go. If it's something really important i wont be late tho. When you tell your friends what happened, it becomes sort of a "the dog ate my homework" situation, and they don't really believe your story. You have a closet full of clothes, but there's not a single look that feels just right. Maybe for you being tired gets in your way of being on time, but I have a feeling if someone said, I'll give you $100 if you are at my house at 9 am that you would be there. I will say that a characteristic of this handicap is that I frequently find myself in the flow, completely absorbed in what I'm doing-- and also that I am easily distracted, flitting from one planned thing (reading my email) to something time-gobbling and unplanned (reading this old post and commenting). If I had an appointment later in the day, timekeeping wasn't so much of an issue. Over three previous studies Conte found that, for Type A individuals, a minute passed in 58 seconds, where as Type B people felt a minute pass in a leisurely 77 seconds. That's where lateness often comes from for me. I get caught up in my head a lot. Usually something else turns that on the dot into 5 or 10 minutes late. Personally, I know one of my issues is that I don't like arriving early - I think it's rude, and I don't like it when people do it to me either. It feels like an enormous handicap and it's driving me crazy, mostly because I can't even explain it myself, let alone to others. All in all, 18 years of voluntary service for their respective schools and making sure that punctuality was a necessary virtue. First, they check the clock every so often, particularly when they know there's a deadline approaching. I've realized that my problem wasn't lateness but doing things I didn't wanna do.. that's something I'll be happy to change. The control idea makes sense too. Others, not so much. You've perfected the gracious smile or avoiding eye contact. Time seems to jump suddenly. The more I think about this, the less certain I am about the answer -- or, rather, the answers, because there are probably many different reasons, depending on the crier's relationship to the bride or groom, the crier's own marital status (by which I mean not only whether he or she is married but how happy that marriage is), whether the crier is someone who tends to weep purely for joy or thinks frequently about death and loss. I request others involved to look at your respective lives closely and see if you are in a job or relationship that you have started to hate yourself for being in it. So my suggestion to people who have trouble in this area is (not to get up another hour before go-time) but to establish some sort of routine so give yourself a bit of extra time and figure out how long individual activites take (getting dressed, packing up, brushing teeth, etc.) It used to bother me but once I was with her for a string of events and noted that she was very attentive with the people she was with and that seemed to be the cause of her tardiness. It is said the real secret for lifelong happiness is loving what you do daily. I have to attend meetings and go to various social events out of politeness or because I cannot refuse somebody's invitation. I certainly acknowledge there are circumstances when timeliness is essential. We're caring for someone who can't care for themselves for example? I try to plan, and estimate, and prepare as much as I can beforehand, but it doesn't take into account everything. Is there something I could do about it?? I started noticing this habit for the past three to four years now, where I will stress out continually and stare at the clock counting down how late I am because I can't force myself to go. Along the way, I have come to experience first-hand, that caregiving in ones family is no longer a virtue that garners esteem in our society. Either we fail and leave on time, or we finish everything and are late. Other personality types, i.e. Not extremely late, but not on time, maybe 10-15 minutes late average. I was searching for genuine answers and help for my chronic 10-minute lateness habit, and found the judge mental and clueless drivel above. Or, every once in awhile if they are anxious/don't really want to go, they may have to talk themselves into it; so they wait until the last possible minute to leave to get to that place (e.g. Do I get a table? I try to be on time, but I can't." Just having an appointment makes me anxious, and I very easily get overwhelmed when there is a lot on my plate (or probably what most people would consider a reasonable amount) making it hard to concentrate on the task at hand, the time, remembering my purse... it's always something. A person who is chronically tardy is exercising control over time, over the expectations of others, and over events. Thank you for sharing! How boring would my commute be if I wasn’t trying to beat the traffic!! what happens is that the more mandatory the punctuality (work, travels, dates) the shorteer the delay; so for example I'd turn up one hour late to a party, and NOT because I like being noticed :/. Because of this, I will set aside extra *hours* so that I can get ready at a relaxed pace, but when it comes down to it, I still end up being rushed, and late. Now there's a puzzle: aren't we supposed to know better by now? I could be hanging around a street in a neighbourhood I don't know, or even a dodgy neighbourhood, sometimes in the dark, often in the rain, perhaps unsuitably dressed for the weather or the environment, for 55 minutes waiting to ring the doorbell, or else turning up 55 minutes early (which I would consider to be much more rude than turning up 5 minutes late). I am a recovering adrenalin junkie myself and I caught myself running late and scattered and stressed to almost everything (work, meeting up with friends, etc). I have always had difficulty accepting lateness until I watched it firsthand with her. It wasn't you, it was totally me. hopefully not, but... You made a deal with another person that you would both prioritize your time to get together. Today, my daughters are college educated, interdependent and thriving in life. If I have to meet with a group of people or a new prospective client, I procrastinate profusely arguing with myself about the time and that the person(s) I'm meeting with seem ok and I should leave. (I try to overcome this by using actual timers - on clocks, watches - half an hour to go, 1/4 hour to go, 10 mins to go, GO NOW OR MISS THE BUS). Her loss and my gain. I can genuinely try to be on time - I can follow a routine and know exactly what I have to do, but I still get caught up. As a chronic late-comer, sometimes it's accident, sometimes it's "resenting not being in control of one's own schedule, and subconsciously bound and determined to present the impression that something other than this shackle is more important to you.".
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